Millennial Madness has hit the Web big time. It seems as though you can hardly turn sideways without running into yet another site devoted to apocalyptic apoplexy. Of course, there is a rather serious inverse ratio 'twixt the quantity and the quality of what's available out there. So, anything that can help one avoid slogging through endless Search Engine lists, dead links, long abandoned sites or just numbingly repetitive webpages (like I had to do) is a very good thing. Since I've already done all that electronic leg-work, you can sit back and consider me kind of your spirit guide through the weird and winding world of web-based Armageddon. What follows is by no means a complete listing of everything worthwhile out there. But, it's a darn good start. All the links are current and the content is well worth the visit. So, if you think you can spare the time between praying for Rapture, watching for comets or stocking up on heavy ammo, just click away and have fun.
Blame the madness on Dennis the Short
A concise and witty page on calendrics, the real date to celebrate the new millennium and the historical and philosophical weirdnesses that led to our modern conception of the passage of time.
Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance
Probably one of the best sites on the 'Net for info on modern Doomsday prophesies, the prophets that make them and the cults that follow them, bleating. While there, you may also want to browse around the rest of the place, as it's one of the better websites I've found on the subject of world religions.
Encyclopędia Britannica Online
Faboo resource! I can't say enough about it. It even has an entire section on millennialism. Bookmark this baby, hon!
Whether you're a complete historical research fiend like me or someone who thinks that the Neolithic period refers to the first season of Everybody Loves Raymond, you will find History House both a huge kick and an invaluable resource. Combining in-depth information on world history with a witty, accessible style, HH is a great site to visit for serious research or just for a really fun read...And of course, the fact that they showed the immeasurable good judgment and impeccable taste to have featured me as a guest author on their pages for well over a year only serves to reinforce the high perch they occupy on the ladder of my undying esteem.
Center For Millennial Studies
Probably the best site on the subject put together by believers. Rather than going off on wild, credulous benders, the authors take an even-handed, scholarly approach to the phenomenon of eschatological beliefs. Not light reading, by any means. But, an excellent source of in-depth information. Highly recommended.
The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists
Haven't had your daily allotment of nuclear paranoia, yet? Scootch on over to this site. It's easy enough to dismiss the Second Comers and the conspiracy kooks. But this site deals with the all-too-real problems of nuclear proliferation, global political unrest and the (currently metaphoric) fallout of the collapse of the Soviet Union.
"This site is not about scaring people." declares site owner Michael Lewis, who then proceeds to fill page after page with loads of luridly creative ways in which our world could come to a screeching, vile, wretched, loathsome, agonizing and utterly absolute halt...In other words, it's a whole lotta fun! Aside from a very nice debunking of the Planet X idiocy, there's little differentiation between what's really scientifically plausible and what's just pure crocks of crap. Still, if you're looking for a kind of virtual Aloha Cruise 'round the great Final Catastrophes, AO is a-ok!
Tired of the standard Biblical Armageddons, Doomsday asteroids and apocalyptic wars? Well, truck on over to EM's corner of the Internet, snookums, and feast your eyes on a super-deluxe party pack of heart-stopping, soul curdling and truly outre doom bringers. After all, who needs to wait for a boring ol' nuke strike, when you can go out in style in an unstoppable wave of mass insanity, or be wiped out by killer super-wheat, or be swallowed up by a black hole, or (if you're really ambitious) take out the whole darn universe in a quantum vacuum? The possibilities aren't endless, but they're many and varied and written with an arch sense of humor the subject matter so richly deserves...Not that I'm biased on that point, or anything.
Apocalypse Fiction Magazine
The online mag that blasts a clean line straight to ground zero, giving the reader just exactly what the title promises: reams and reams of literary doom dreams. Endless ways to the End of Days. Of course, the quality does vary. Some of the tales are excellent, some just workmanlike and some...well, I guess they need to fill up an issue one way or another. It's all packaged rather prettily with an occasional bit of interesting artwork. They also have a sister site called "Weird Space", which I haven't really checked out and an amusing little venture into the world of Indie movie making with "The Nuke Brothers", a nutty nugget advertised with two, count 'em two downloadable trailers! My one real complaint is that someone needs to slap the Editors awake and give 'em a working spell-checker.
(Thanks to Amie Mullins for pointing me toward the radioactive end of the 'zine pool.)
Weekly World News
This site was completely overhauled recently and the results were well worth the wait. For sheer, unbridled Doomsday ranting weirdness (and just about any other kind of weirdness, besides) the WWN is tough to beat.
Sad to say, it hasn't been updated since 2001. Still, it remains, preserved in virtual amber, a screamingly funny webzine devoted to Millennium Madness. Read about those fevered Y2K prophecies, check on the state of our collapsing civilization or send a "final" postcard. Millennium Hell had its fickle finger on the pulse of all the Final Countdown fun. Worth the mouse-click.
A website for the book, but a good one. Here, you can read up on the author's latest predictions for the future, excerpts from his tome, time-honored methods for fortune telling and even take a test of your End Times IQ.
The Death Clock
Well, why the heck worry about when the rest of the planet kacks it? At this website, you can find out when your very own, personalized Doomsday is scheduled!
Prophets And Prophecies
A collection of prophecies (apocalyptic and others) from all over the world.
An Illustrated Speculative Timeline Of Technology And Social Change For The Next One Thousand Years
Now, who said the religious folks got to have all the millennial fun? This site is devoted to speculating on what the new millennium will bring in terms of society, technology, politics and health. The predictions get odder the further along the timeline they go. But, hey, that's the best part of it! A site to copy and archive, as - like all predictions of the future - it's sure to get funnier as the years go on.
Tribulation.Com (formerly "Atlantis Station")
Looking for a one-stop shop for all your Biblical prophetic needs? Well, right here, pilgrim, is the place to go. Browse until you can feel your brain cells liquefy and dribble out of your ears like microwaved velveeta.
The Prophecy Club
The online incarnation of the multi-media ministry. Not nearly the vast oddity emporium that Atlantis Station is, the PC is, nonetheless, a must-see for anyone plotting a serious voyage into the realm of runaway religious irrationality.
The official page touting Tim LaHaye's and Jerry P. Jenkin's spittel-dripping, brain-cell blenderizing series of Christian apocalyptic pot-boilers. If the stories weren't riotously awful enough by themselves, the webpage promo-ing them adds that extra, loving touch of slickly packaged paranoia that gives the whole enterprise an extra zoned-out zing. Also included is order info on the duo's series of Children's Left Behind Tales. Yes, Children's. Sort'a like marketing a "Pre-Schooler's Big Book O' Snuff Films", isn't it?
(Thanks to Karen Lewis for pointing out this jewel's URL to me.)
PreTribulation Rapture: Letters To Loved Ones
The website for those who think that the Left Behind books are How-To Guides...Oh, not for themselves. But, for all the sorry, unsaved suckers whose souls just don't shine with quite the same waxy, high-gloss sheen as their own do. In a truly wonderful display of that unique combination of raving lunacy and runaway egoism that its practitioners call, "Christian Love", a slew of writers have churned out "Rapture Letters" for the edification of those left sitting around, wondering where all the stray goofbags went to. Best of the lot include #2 by Herbert, which reads like an End Times freak's FAQ, #15 by Newfire who believes with all Jesus' love in her heart that hubby's gonna burn, #25 from Mom & Dad who believe the same about their entire family and #29 by Sherry, who's pissed off with the unsaved for not listening to her when they had the chance!
(Thanks to Susan Mitchell for disinterring this specimen for addition to the list.)
Basil Wolverton's Apocalypse
Explaining so much to me about the art of Monte Wolverton is a little gallery devoted to the whimsical doodlings of his dear ol' dad. A comic artist of exceptional talent and no small note back in the '50's, Wolverton The Elder was also, it turns out, a devoted disciple of twirling Anglo-Israelist, anti-Semite and all-around Doom-peddling crackerbasket, Herbert W. Armstrong. It was about the mid-century point when Bas was commissioned to scribble a clutch of super scary End Time illos to spice up some otherwise tedious Trib tripe in Herbie's cult rag: the hilariously falsely advertised, "Plain Truth" magazine. The lurid results are on display, in livid color, at the click of a mouse button and well-worth the time for the gallery tour.
(Thanks to that ace talent scout of web weirdness, Susan Mitchell, for reviving this lost Master.)
The Earth Is Not Moving
Yes, it's true! The Copernican notion of a Heliocentric solar system is all just an evil atheist/Zionist/Kabalistic plot to twist the minds of good, but naive Christians and usher in a New World Order of godless Darwinistic, Nietzschean, Freudian, NASA-lovin', Marxist... um,...er,...poopie-heads! Yeah! So there! Okay, so it's not an exclusively apocalyptic site, (though you might die laughing reading it) but hate meister Marshall Hall's long and loopy screed against just about anything and everything remotely rational is a must see.
The original site is, of course, long gone. But, like vinyl LPs, copies still manage to get into the hands of ardent collectors. This is one of those mirror sites where you can still get a glimpse of the infamous page.
Unarius Academy of Science
This is the website of those fluffy, frothy ET oglers. Here you can bone up on such important issues as Psychic Liberation, fourth-dimensional physics and the friendly aliens of the Interplanetary Confederation and their upcoming convention in Atlantis.
Fellow saucer cult though they may be, the Zetans aren't nearly so happy and carefree as the Unarians are. In fact, they can be pretty darn depressing, seeing as how they're waiting for the world to end in gory, awful ways, and all. Still, one can't accuse them of being boring! They ascribe to far too many nutty notions for that. In fact, their credo could be summed up in a variation on the old Marlon Brando line: What do they believe in?...What've you got?
Related to the Zetan's page, though you'd have a heck of a time tracking down its link from there. This is their endless, meandering survivalist site where you can learn how to protect yourself from the effects of the deadly, dreaded polar shift.
Earth Changes TV
Surely the Zetan's favorite spot on the dial, ECTV is the place to be for all the latest news on the fear-fomenting, paranoid prophecy front. There is truly no rumor too ravingly insane, no theory too thoroughly preposterous to merit spotlighted inclusion on their pages. Granted, over the years, ECTV has tried hard to clean up its act, with a much slicker, more professional look than it once had. But, scratch the surface a teensy and you'll still come up with the same ol' NASA conspiracies about deadly comets, mutating Martians and prophesied magnetic shifts of Doom. ECTV swallows 'em whole and vomits 'em back out again in hilariously hyperbolic bytes. Doomish earth ookies aside, the single scariest info-byte the site has to offer is the news that its "producer", the shamelessly shill-mad Mitch Battros, is in his off-line hours...a "Mental Health Therapist"!!!
Remember,...in cyber-space, no one can hear you scream...
Rumor Mill News
When I first came across this site, I was certain it was a parody a' la the Landover Baptist Church. I mean, there's the name, for starters. Plus a disclaimer stating it's all for entertainment purposes. Most of all, though, there's the content, which is just beverage-snorting hilarious. After a while, however, I came to the inescapable realization that these bizarros are serious...and not a little scary, besides. Come take a gander at such far right wing, militia mad marvels as "The Wilcher Report", which claims that the deaths at Waco were the result of a CIA mind control operation, or "The Great Dying" an oxygen-deprived lil' opus asserting that chemtrails are insidious vectors of poison intended to "cull" the human herd, or read co-site-owner Rayelan Russbacher's own news exclusive on the space shuttle Atlantis falling victim to a Soul CatcherTM...complete with photo! It's a trip into certified strangeland and a prime illo of what happens to a brain deep fried in God and guns.
And if the nukes won't get'cha, the collapsing environment and seppuku-ing economy will! So insists link-addicted site owner Jay Hanson, who has amassed quite an impressive collection of magazine articles, lectures, abstracts, analyses and theses (some in PDF file format, with no warning whatsoever) to support his hell-in-a-laissez-faire-handbasket view. It's far from being all twaddle, either. Though, Jay's own personal airy-fairy solution to the coming cataclysm sounds less like a green-friendly, Socialist Utopia and more like a black market-riddled, Balkanized, Marxist nightmare.
Coast To Coast nee WWW.ArtBell.com
Well, what can I say? The man's a legend. Though, unfortunately, not a myth. This is the website for that one-man mad mob, that hustler of hysteria, that master caster of raving radio ga-ga, Art Bell. Want End Time prophecies? Hell, that's strictly kindergarten stuff in the paranoid paranormal parallel reality that Arty's show drifts in. Some may recall that Art disappeared from the air and Webways in a puff of self-fomented frenzy some time ago, intimating that unnamed nefarious forces might work to keep him off for good. But, like an annual flu bug, he's back again. Slightly different package. Same disease. And, hey, who'd want it any other way? A must-see and a must-listen.
Here you can get all you'll need to survive the oncoming Trib and the owner's very own apocalyptic Marian ravings, to boot. Endless inanity. Wonderful fun.
The Survival Center
Heresy & Blasphemy & Stuff
Of course, whatever survivalist knickknacks you can't find at B&A, you should be able to hunt down here at what's billed as "America's Oldest Continually Operating Survival Center". Yes, these folks have been waving the tattered, grease-stained flag of Armageddon-hoarding longer than anyone else with a retail license and now they're online to help feed and nurture apocalyptic hysteria across the 'net.
A Brief History of the Apocalypse
Chris Nelson's truly excellent listing of apocalyptic prophecies throughout history and on up through the present day. Plus, a very nice section on travel info...in case you have some vacation time coming between now and the End.
The Doomsday List
Lots of Doomsday predictions, with special attention to those lovable World Wide Weirdoes intent on alerting the on-line community to their own, private apocalyptic prophecies.
Just in case you were getting a tad overwhelmed by this steady diet of high cholesterol credulity, let me offer a refreshing little cerebral antacid to relieve all that prophetic gas. The Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal is a haven of rationality and skepticism in a world gone millennium mad. A great site to check out when you really need to make contact with planet Earth, again.
The Skeptic's Dictionary
One of the finest skeptical sites on the web. Robert T. Carroll has put together an online book on the paranormal, the supernatural and the pseudoscientific from a clear-headed, critical perspective. An absolute must have in any serious skeptic's bookmark file. Updated frequently.
The James Randi Educational Foundation
A truly tops skeptical site and the homepage of my hero. The JREF has a short, but illustrious history of defending the rational and debunking the fakes, freaks, kooks and con-artists who feed on the fears and fantasies of the all-too-easily led...Oh, and I am very pleased and proud to announce that my own humble site has recently been added to the JREF list of Learning Resources.
The Public Eye
This site is mainly devoted to keeping watch on the very scary activities of the very crazy Religious Right. But, it also has an excellent section on apocalypticism and millennialist hysteria.
Apocalypse Now. No, Really. Now!
This is actually a reprint of a very good New York Times article and just a part of Rick Ross's excellent site on cults. After reading about their unique visions for an abbreviated future, you'll want to browse the site for more detailed info on these wannabe Oracles of the End.
Jehovah's Armageddon Museum
Part of the Watchers of The Watchtower site, this little museum provides a nice overview of the JW's inglorious history of apocalyptic panic peddling.
(Thanks to reader Chuck Doherty for alerting me to the site and his wonderful article featured in it.)
Alien Autopsy: Faked Or Fiction?
Now that that famous Roswell "alien" has been autopsied, it seems only decent to bury it, and this site does. Utterly, permanently and with a dash of wicked humor.
Quintessence of the Loon
Looking for loons in all the wrong places? No problemo, pilgrim! Just point your browser this 'a way to view the choice monthly selection of mixed Internuts hand picked by "Master in Lunacy" Peter Bowditch. There's precious little to be found here in the way of apocalyptic oddity. But, the air of universal intractable insanity more than makes up for it.
Crank Dot Net
A capital compendium of the creatively crazed. CDN has links to bizarreness on a wide range of topics, catastrophism being only one. They've also been nice enough to include my own humble site among their many fine choices... At least, I think they were being nice...
CONELRAD: All Things Atomic
Come take a nostalgic spin back to the golden age of Cold War hysteria mongering with the wonderful folks at CONELRAD. It's a virtual treasure trove of mid-20th century atomic Armageddon-alia. From jpgs of lurid movie posters and civil defense placards to sound files of emergency broadcast PSAs, all sorts of rare goodies are to be found on their bright yellow pages. So, remember, when you hear the air raid sirens, boys and girls, just tune in to this spot on the Web, then duck and cover!
The Bureau Of Atomic Tourism
If the CONELRAD experience only whetted your appetite for more, point your browser this-a-way and start making your atomic dream vacation plans come true! Yes, The BoAT is a veritable Michelin Guide for nuclear age hot spots all over the globe, from Los Alamos to Hiroshima, with detailed and deadpan tourist info for each and every one. Want to check out the five-star resort bunker built for Congress in West Virginia? See Titan missiles underground? Go scuba diving in Bikini Atoll? BoAT will give you the inside skinny to make your next holiday romp a hydrogen fueled bundle o' fun!
Although its curator, esteemed Doctor of Kookology Donna Kossy has fled for parts unknown (or, at least, unkooked), a "freeze-dried" version of this fabulous site is still up and running for the edification and unbridled pleasure of Kookology students across the 'net. No true scholar of the twirlingly weird should even think of passing up a visit to this online shrine to human oddness.
Landover Baptist Church
You'll laugh so hard, your sides will ache, your heart will go pitter-pat. LBC is a dead-on, brilliant parody of the sort of Fundamentalist Church site flourishing around the Web these days, passing off scathingly toxic, Bible-based bile and general seething intolerance as perfect Christian love. Take their interactive Wrath of God Quiz, read the sermons to find out if you have demons in your colon, check out the Ladies of Landover section, or go through the monthly mailbag for a look at letters from low-wattage readers who somehow failed to get the joke. Can't recommend this highly enough. Go. Shoo.
Betty Bowers: America's Best Christian
Still here? Well, as long as I've still got your attention, let me direct your gaze toward the lady whose personal motto is, "Love the sinner... Hate their clothes!". Yes, Betty Bowers is a better Christian than you and makes a point of reminding the reader of this detail on every page of her screamingly funny site. Take Betty's advice to good Christian ladies on how to maintain one's virginity up to... and preferably even after marriage, check out Laura Bush's Guide to Republican Glamour, (which actually made me laugh myself right into a migraine) send all those "fake Christians" an E-buke from Jesus, and whatever else you do, don't forget to book your post-Armageddon accommodations with Betty Bower's Apocalyptic Travel Agency!
The Brick Testament
War, famine, pestilence, murder, suicide, genocide, slavery, rape, incest, Legos!!! ...Legos? ...Yes, Legos! Back in October 2001, the Rev. Brendan Powell Smith hit upon the inspired idea of illustrating tales from both the old and new testaments in fine Danish plastic. He's now up to 412 stories and still going strong! There's plenty of dubious pleasures to be had perusing the Rev.'s pages. I especially recommend Jesus's Teachings, The Fate of Judas, The entire Exodus and for shear surrealistic fun, The Epistles of Paul. But most exciting of all, he's just recently snapped n' stacked Revelation together! Glory!
(Thanks to Susan Mitchell for giving me the Leg-o up on this one... oh, quit moaning, I'm allowed.)
The Kick Ass Post Apocalyptic Doomsday Cult Of Love
Well, it's about time! A cult that really believes in truth in advertising! Come join the Reverend Sum Dum Guy and his happy acolytes as they prepare to usher in the new millennium in their own special, deeply spiritual, heavily armed way.
The Force Is A Tool Of Satan Homepage
I knew there had to be some reasonable explanation for the latest sequel's box office success. Thankfully, this site provides it. In fact, they've done such a convincing job, they've managed to collect oodles of flaming hate mail from Star Wars devotees who'd clearly spent so much money on the movie, they didn't have any left over to buy themselves a clue. Well worth a perusal for all but the terminally humor-challenged.
The FAQ Of alt.destroy.the.earth
I dunno. I think it's a Y chomosome thing. If you ask me, some guys just take this whole "How To" mentality a wee bit too far. Besides, when you consider the results you get when you ask most men to fix a leaky faucet, would you really trust them with the job of properly obliterating the earth? I mean, c'mon. Sure, they'd say, "Don't worry, honey. Of course I know what I'm doing!" and then we'd probably end up with nothing more than a big, embarrassing crack right across, say, the 49th Parallel and the cost of caulking, alone, would be simply astronomical. Still, since boys will be boys, y'all can point your browsers to the FAQ of the ng that scoffs at all that tree hugging, whale saving, air cleansing, water purifying, life affirming crap and gets down to the important business of blowing it up real good.